I've been hearing some variation of this a lot recently—“I'm sick of hearing 'pray about it' as if that's real advice.” I imagine all believers have a similar thought at some point. Like, I don't want to pray. I want to actually do something.
I hear that, but I have a theory of why prayer doesn't feel like doing something. Imagine a filing cabinet in your brain that stores all of your memories. Now imagine the Prayer Folder in that filing cabinet. What's in there? Memories seem to be what we fall back on for evidence and decision-making, so which ones are forming your perception of the effectiveness of prayer? What informs your answer to this question?: Does prayer actually change things?
My mom and husband are champions of prayer—I'm so lucky, right?—and I asked what caused them to believe so heartily that God answers, that prayer changes things.
Mom said her experience praying for a particular teenage boy (see below) as well as God's very direct answers to prayer for her kids' future spouses have caused her to know confidently that God answers some prayers in miraculous ways. My sister-in-law is a beautiful embodiment of what Mom prayed. For me, she prayed specifically that God would provide someone "strong enough to handle me"...! Sounds like a punch-line, but moms know what their kids need. Safe to say, my husband is every bit an answer to that prayer.
Speaking of him, when asked what caused him to believe that prayer changes things, he said Hezekiah, the Bible character. When he read this story in 2 Kings, he was blown away that God changed His mind. (Go read it. It's only 11 verses.) He decided that prayer was worth way more time than he had been giving it because the Almighty God actually allows those prayers to impact His decision-making. Since leaning on that theology, he has seen so many prayers answered—all going into that Prayer Folder as faith-builders.
Here's something that sits in my Prayer Folder: Before my junior year of high school, each student of my youth group wrote prayers for our upcoming school year into self-addressed letters. I forgot all about it and endured one of the most impactful years of my life. I became close friends with a boy who didn't love Jesus, and I accidentally fell in love with him—huge yikes. My best friend quit me and exploded my life at work, church, and school. I grew by leaps and bounds, but that year felt catastrophic. So when I found my letter full of earnest prayers in the mailbox that May, I bawled my eyes out. It was utterly clear reading it that God somehow used the mistakes I made and the circumstances I was in to answer every last one of those prayers. Ever since, I have taken prayer ever so seriously.
More about that guy I fell in love with ... He went to church, but he was on the fence as to whether he actually believed in the Big Guy in the Sky concept, and he certainly wasn’t ready to orient everything in his life around Him. I knew that teenage boy, funny and cute and mysterious as he was, wasn’t someone I could hold onto for long. How could I? We looked at life completely differently. But I wouldn’t let him go, even when our differences made a mess.
What could I do to change his mind? Absolutely nothing. Except … pray. In the way people pray for a loved one who is sick or in danger or desperate for change, I prayed for this teenage boy. There must have been some selfish motives intertwined with my desire for him to know his Creator, but I prayed more than I’d prayed for anyone. My mom began to love him too—he’s very lovable, see?—and she went into full-on prayer warrior mode.
Over a period of years, we watched that boy go from churchgoer to theist to Christian to committed follower of Jesus to radically obsessed Jesus-servant.
I had absolutely nothing to do with it. I couldn’t have managed an inch of that change if it had been my only goal in life. What someone thinks, believes, chooses to orbit, sacrifices for … you just can’t pick it for another person.
After a long break up, I got to marry him, somewhere in the middle of that progression. A family pic with him is on my author page. He is dreamier every day and my very favorite human. Oops, I’m bragging about my husband again, but I have a point. Prayer is not just a Hail Mary when nothing else could work, but my go-to play. (Did I just use a football analogy? What has happened to me? Must have been that Netflix documentary with Kirk Cousins.)
Often when we pray for something, God gives us an action item of our own to be a part of the story He's writing. And we'd better go do our part! But I firmly believe prayer is the most important aspect of our part to play. It changes us, it changes our plans, and sometimes ... it even changes God's mind. I would LOVE to hear your story. What made you believe that God is moved to act as a result of prayer? Is there a major memory that sits in your Prayer Folder? Comment below or send me a message.
Read Part II about unlocking God's replies to these prayers. Want more stories about prayer? Here's the beginning of this book writing madness and that time I prayed obsessively because my family and I were stuck in Israel during war time. And here's the fiction version of life with Jesus all up in there—same faith, but with my imaginary friends.
Ok, so you already shared some of my deepest prayers. But… another really fervent, intense, and long time prayer was that God would give you a deep passion, that you couldn’t resist, to serve Him in life - a devotion to Jesus that would protect you from yourself (particularly in your teen years .) God said ‘yes’ to that one as well and I’m incredibly grateful. I remember telling you as a child that there was nothing you could do to make me not love you. Disappoint me, yes, but I would always love you no matter what. Thank you for making that promise so easy to fulfill! Your devotion to God makes this mama so content. 🥰